It's been a while, but I suppose it's because I've been retreating from everything - people, places, music... even writing. And the truth is, I don't plan on writing much today either. Maybe things have just gotten so complicated to the point where it's dangerous to write something here because someone might see. And then again, maybe I want someone to see... but no, not today. Maybe another day.

And so instead I'll do something I haven't done in years, that I used to do ever so often when I first started diaryland as a fifteen-year-old bursting with thoughts and ideas. It's been a long time... and this was written almost three years ago, but it reflects a little of what's going on, and so here it is.

~Jaded Wishes~

So here you find me after a restless night's sleep.
My skin is cold to touch but alight with fire inside.
I know no boundaries can limit the soul, though strangely enough
If truth be told, I wish hearts could be chained -
Memories held back, locked in.

Freeze up my sight, emotions, fears,
Cast away raging turmoil pounding so hard,
So fast. You would do well to lay things to rest,
To know there are things that will never be understood,
nor explained, nor rationalized.
Do you think frustration torments solely?
Because I tell you it does anything but.

Still at your efforts I do nothing but applaud.
And sigh, so soft you do not hear. With expression
Wrought and fate resigned. All I want is simple,

Just some space to call mine.